An excerpt from my book, which I cannot stress enough, makes a profound difference in de-escalating discord and conflict…
The Five Steps to Wise Action
How do we learn to act with skill, with compassion to accomplish what we aspire for ourselves and in this world in the most civil way?
Although Wisdom is one of the Perfections mentioned earlier, it in itself can be subdivided into mental processes we need to go through in order to go from wise perception to wise action. These processes are all classified as wisdoms, which, when seen collectively, create sensible and progressive action steps to know how to employ or what level of compassion to use. Note that the discussion of the Five Wisdoms in Buddhism usually includes more theoretical and theological discussion. I shall avoid these and focus on the actionable aspects of each, which can be applied in both sacred and mundane situations.
All Pervasive Wisdom – This first wisdom action step may be the hardest as it asks us to step back from the immediacy of the situation or at least be able to keep our passions from leading us to a rush to judgment. If we are able to step back, to see a bigger picture and place the situation into a larger perspective, we then create more of an opportunity to think out of or beyond the box we may otherwise be mentally and emotionally trapped in. Succinctly, the action step is: Step back.
Discriminating Wisdom – By stepping back and getting a clearer picture, we encourage our ability to judge impartially, but with discernment Based on a wider perspective, we are not looking at “the truth,” per se. Relative reality and truth are at best, very slippery bedfellows. There are always so many sides and interpretations to any situation. And so, we discern as best we can and give an “honest” assessment . Honesty means we are coming from a place of integrity within ourselves. Honesty allows us to change our minds if more information comes to light. We may not always know “the truth,” but we can always be honest. Thus, the action step here is: Assess.
Mirror-like Wisdom – This wisdom is reminiscent of our modern psychological understanding of projection, that what we see in the world is a mirror reflection of our state of mind. (What is fascinating is that modern neuroscience has identified Mirror Neurons, which are said to reside behind our hearts and that the information from these neurons goes up to our brain. Furthermore, there are more signals going from the heart to the brain than visa versa. And so, Japanese Buddhism speaks of the “heart-mind.” It is also fascinating to reflect that this wisdom known as “mirror-like” pre-dates our current knowledge of mirror neurons by centuries.) What is called on here is for us to understand the direct impact on us personally of what we have honestly assessed. If we start there, we stand a better chance of knowing how our words or actions that follow will affect others. The action step is: Reflect.
Wisdom of Equanimity – This wisdom demands that we confront within ourselves any bigotry that sees any person or being to be ultimately superior or inferior to ourselves. Freemasonry, as a tradition of philanthropy and secular enlightenment, speaks of “being on the level.” Without understanding that we are all “equal in the eyes of God,” true, heartfelt empathic communication and civility–based action is not possible. The Yiddish word here is to be a “mensch.” Not seeing or acting as being higher or lower than those whom we engage, we overcome prejudice and invite a reciprocal response. Whether the response we get is indeed reciprocal is another matter. But, the point in demonstrating civility here is that we engage in such a spirit. Engaging another “on the level,” another important dimension of this wisdom is that we do not engage in character assassination. What we should be addressing are issues and actions. Thus, the action step here is: Engage.
All Accomplishing Wisdom – Being able to step back, assess, reflect, and properly engage, we now have the sufficient knowledge that we need to Learning summon and martial our energy wisely and apply it where, when, and how it is most effective. We step into action forthrightly. The action step here is: Enact.
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The first three of these wisdoms, all-pervasive, discriminating, and mirror-like are more internal or mental. The last two, the wisdom of equanimity and all-accomplishing wisdom are the connection we make with others and our action or words in the manifest world. The bridge between the internal and outer or external is at the level of mirror-like wisdom, associated in the East with what is called the heart chakra, the center of the heart-mind. Reflection therefore acts as the gate between our inner machinations of our experience and how we are to prepare ourselves for engagement and action in the world. It is then by the wisdom of equanimity that we make the main step of social engagement. Thus, the wisdom of equanimity is the most social of all the wisdoms.
To summarize and succinctly state, in the Five Steps to Wise Action…we
1. step back – look at the big picture
2. assess – clearly discern what we are looking at
3. reflect on this knowledge, understand our part – making it personal, helping us to develop empathy
4. engage – initiate action based on mutual respect an intention of focusing on the good of all
5. enact – step into action forthrightly
Watch my “Pillow Talk” podcast, which puts this all into action.